Rituals

Pengeras

In the video above, Leti is performing a spell. Prior to that she has to prepare pengeras (i.e. compensation/offering). Different services/healing/ilmu may require different pengeras. According to Leti, in the video the pengeras is plum/tamarind (asam), salt, needle and some money.

• In Jamilah (2014, p. 159), a midwife that assisted in child birth is paid with salt, asam (=plum/tamarind), needle, a candlenut and a bit of money.

A pengeras is paid to a bomoh/duku/shaman that performs a healing ritual

and to spirits whose services were rendered, or spirits that were prayed to (see later points of buang ancak)

Screenshot from this video. The pengeras mentioned are needle, tamarind and salt (and money).

• The pengeras shown here (nail, tamarind and salt) are also seen in the rituals of the Orang Laut of Riau
  • Chou 2003, p. 56 (Chou lived several years with the Orang Laut of Riau and was taught ilmu by her host)
    • Upon the completion of my sessions with Suri (teacher), she instructed me to present her with some tamarind, salt and nail. The nail was first dipped into the tamarind and salt before she licked part of it off. Suri then asked me to swallow the remainder of the salt and tamarind from the nail
      • [note from me zhixuan] unclear whether Orang Seletar also do this or not
    • The Orang Laut explain that whenever any spell is cast, both giver and recipient must respectively receive and give an iron nail, tamarind and salt. This exchange is necessary to ‘lock’ the ilmu and ensures the continuing effectiveness of the ilmu when it is applied again at a later date
    • Iron (i.e. the nail) is a boundary strengthener in that it possesses the power to keep a person’s soul in the body. Thus upon casting a spell, the giving of iron is to ensure that no vacuum is left for other spirits to enter, and maintains the boundaries of the body and the environment

Also depicted in the video is this plate of offering. The needle, plum and money seem to be part of the pengeras, while the other items are offerings for buang ancak (offerings for spirits put on trays, see later parts on buang ancak).

• [Juma’at 2017]: The offerings for membuang ancak include: pulut kuning (yellow glutinous rice), pulut putih (white glutinous rice), pulut merah (red glutinous rice), kuih tepung (rice cake) and burning incense

Screenshot from OGS Orang Seletar video.

Love Spell

[Chan et al. interview]

• Limes, betel leaves, and lemongrass are used for incantation of ilmu pengasih (love spell)

Limes, betel leaves and lemongrass are components of the love spell. In the upper photo, the needle, tamarind, salt and money are used as pengeras (compensation/offering). The incense, and likely also the cigarette, are part of offering buang ancak. The function of other items like the stones and nut? are unknown. Source video.

• In order for the spell to be effective, remuneration (i.e. =pengeras, see first point of this page) needs to be given to the person invoking the spell in the form of salt, a needle, plum, and a small tray

[compare with Orang Laut of Riau]

• The limes, leaves and grass involved in the love spell are very similar to the items used in love spells of the Orang Suku Laut of Riau
  • Chou, 2003, p. 61-63
    • Mere incantation of the spells is insufficient. I was instructed by the dukun to cast, first of all the love spells that I had been taught onto limes. The limes were then to be immersed into the water in which I was to bathe. Afterwards, the pulp of the limes would be thrown away.
    • In casting love spells, it is vital that boundaries be weakened to admit the passage of essesnces from one person to another.
    • Water is important for weakening boundaries because it is fluid. The mention of water in love spells and the accompanying act of bathing together enable the essences to cross boundaries in order to be merged.
    • Limes, pieces of cloth and leaves are also commonly referred to and used as receptacles or substitute bodies for absorbing essences (Endicott, 1991: 139)
    • By casting the love spells into limes, one’s essence is enticed into limes which then act as receptacles when abducting other souls. Also, the distasteful acidity of the lime fruit is thought to incapacitate spirits so that they can be controlled once they have been absorbed (ibid: 138–40).
    • Brushes made of grass or leaves tied together with ribu-ribu or a string of daun t’rap (shredded tree bark) are yet other kinds of essence receptacles to absorb and subdue essences for disposal (Endicott, 1991:136–40).
• The Orang Seletar love spell depicted in the video seems to have very similar items to the ones used by the Orang Laut of Riau. There are limes, (betel leaves), some (lemon)grass tied together with some string (see photos above), and Leti sprinkles some water onto herself

Leti washes her hands in water (likely immersed with lime) and sprinkles the water onto herself when casting a love spell. Screenshots from OGS Orang Seletar video.

Burials

Thomson, 1847

• At death the deceased are wrapped in their garments, and committed to the parent earth. “The women weep a little, then leave the spot” were the words of our simple narrator.

Jamilah 2014, p. 153

• It must be noted here that having their own children is essential to the Orang Seletar. This is because when they die, it is expected by their customs and traditions that it must be their children, preferably the sons, who will bury them. So it is essential that some grown up children continue to live close by.

[in the 70s] Asiah and Suradi (1977, p. 29)

• When a man died in the past, his boat was destroyed to make the coffin in which his body was placed. In order to avoid this the boat is now “sold” to his heirs, a transaction that is said to protect them from being disturbed by his spirit
• [exact words by author]: A coffin is made from the deceased boat. Now the boat has to be “bought” by the next of kin to avoid the dead spirit coming back and seeking the person who took his boat
• The dead person is wrapped in white shroud and is buried in the burial area. Except for his boat, and house and other items like outboard motor, all the deceased’s belongings are buried along with him
• There is no elaborate ceremonies for the burial of an Orang Seletar. His grave will not be visited by his relatives unless they dream of him. When this happens they visit the grave and place cigarettes and other things the dead person liked to consume during his lifetime. This is to soothe the dead man’s spirit. The same burial procedure is practiced for dead women and children

Jumaat 2017

• The Orang Seletar are not to knock on things or scrape the soil when there is death. If this is not followed, it is believed that they will be plagued by unfortunate events / misfortune
• The dead will be dressed in their favorite clothes when they were living or rolled up using a cloth or a mat
• They do not use kain kapan (Muslim practice, a special cloth/shroud to cover a dead body)
• The personal objects and common objects used by the dead when he was living is buried together with the body
• In older times, they did not use signs or markers/ grave stones for their graves
• But recently, they started to leave signs and gravestones on top of the grave, as observed in Kampung Bakar Batu
• Before settling in Kuala Redan and living in a fixed place
  • The dead was buried wherever in places in the mangroves that will not be flooded when the water rose
  • At that time there was no specific place for burials because they constantly moved from one place to another
  • The grave was 3-4 feet deep for the body
• Nowadays, they bury the dead in coffin made from plywood. For those that are able, a coffin is bought
• They believe that they have to put a coconut shell on top of the grave of the dead, in the head region.
  • The coconut shell will be placed right side up, with the holes facing up
  • They believe that the soul can easily come out through the holes of the coconut shell
    • [2024 update] in modern times, a helmet is used instead of a coconut

Screenshot from OGS Orang Seletar video.

• The body is put on its side, cushioned with a mat made from mengkuang, with the head resting on a pillow, and other objects that the person who has died had previously used like clothes, food, and some money
  • The Orang Seletar believe if they don’t put food and water on the grave, the dead will become hungry and will come back home to find food
  • In the grave the head rests in the west where the sun sets and the feet face the east where the sun rises.
  • This position lets the soul see the sun rise easily, the sign of the day beginning
  • No difference between men and women
• After burying the dead, the people return home and rinse themselves with lime water on the instruction of the bomoh to clean off unwanted harassments/attachments

Temah’s interview (Mariam 1984 archive recording)

• Offerings: rice, lime, things they liked to eat when alive
• Bury the people in the places they used to live at. E.g. if they were people of sungai landas, then bury at sungai landas
• Bury belongings like clothes, plates, parang

Amir and Hamid (2014, p. 183)

• Instead of food, drinks and cloth, burial goods of Orang Seletar consists of fish catching tools like fish spear, harpoon, fish nets and also hunting tools like a spear, adze and knife, which are suitable to use in their environmental adaptation. They believe, these burial goods would be used by the dead in their next life

Ariffin bin Nopiah, 1979, p. 28

• So far as I know, every Orang Seletar village has its own special burial area, although the graves are unmarked

It seems over the years more formal grave sites have been established

• Juma’at (2017）
  • Simpang Arang has its own grave site
  • In Bakar Batu, there is a grave site for Orang Seletar who do not practise Islam
    • Those who practise Islam from Bakar Batu and Sungai Temon bury their dead in the burial ground in Sungai Danga
  • Residents of Kuala Masai, Telok Jawa, Telok Kabung, Pasir Salam bury their dead in Kampung Wak Bai, Sungai Tiram (precise location unknown)

There exists a myth about Orang Seletar death called the mati bulan, which is a death that follows the moon phases (see Seletar Folklore)

Jefree Salim of Kampung Sungai Temon showing the burial grounds near their village

2016 article

• “If anyone from the family passes away, the family moves away. They will hang the body in the mangrove forest, let nature take its course. But with contact of outsiders such as malay, Chinese etc, burials are now common. They do not have tombstones, and usually mark the grounds with a bottle or a stone”
• Unclear if this information was obtained from interview with orang Seletar or the Chinese scholars/experts familiar with them
• This ritual was also mentioned in an 1981 newspaper article, a Malay man Encik Awang bin Osman told the reporter that the Orang Seletar do not bury their dead but tie the bodies and hang them on big trees that grow in the water (mangroves) e.g. bakau and merbau trees. All items and possessions of the dead are to be left behind with the body and the Seletar family (the ‘puak’) will leave the area and find another home elsewhere

*hanging the deceased bodies on trees is how the Batek (another Orang Asli group) perform their death rituals. Unsure if the author of the above article knew about this and was influenced by it or thought it applied to all orang asli?

Summoning spirit

[Chan et al. interview]

• A feast ritual was done by the Orang Seletar community to summon their ancestor’s spirit before the clearing of the cemetery which was required by the state to use the land

(the feast ritual is probably similar to buang ancak)

Buang Ancak

Ghulam-Sarwar Yousof (2016)

An ancak is a tray made from bamboo and leaves, usually about 90 cm square and decorated with woven coconut leaves, containing various offerings to spirits during theatre performances or for other rituals, or to trap the spirits. Upon completion of the rituals, the various ancak with the offerings intact, are placed in locations some distance away from human habitations for the consumption of spirits. Ceremonies involving such offerings are known as buang ancak.

Some Malays practice buang ancak as well.

[Siti Omar 2020, p. 32]

• As stated by my interviewees, the most common maritime influenced ritual was buang ancak. Ancak is a tray made from bamboo or leaves, which contain various offerings such as bananas, eggs, unmilled rice and cigarettes, with rituals involving such offering being known as buang ancak.
• According to an Orang Kallang interviewee, buang ancak ceremonies were commonly conducted to cure ailments, with the offerings usually placed in a boat-like ancak that was drifted out to sea. It was also conducted to “adopt” the hantu laut who would ensure a good catch, delay storms when instructed, aid divers in holding their breath underwater and win sailing races for their “masters”.
• Some of my Orang Seletar interviewees who were previously animists also carried out this ritual when deceased relatives or the hantu appear in their dreams to communicate their desire for food to satisfy their hunger and to “pay” for transgressions respectively.

Jumaat 2017

• According to the Orang Seletar, the act of giving offerings / food to the hantu laut/ worshipping ‘menjamu hantu laut atau membuang ancak’ is still carried out by the Orang Seletar
  • The offerings include: pulut kuning, pulut putih, pulut merah, kuih tepung and burning incense
    • note: you can see some of the offerings in this video (and also the screenshots in the beginning of this page)
  • This is done/known by a bomoh/pawang
  • These offerings will be pushed out to sea (float out to sea) and this act of worship hopes to bring safety and also increase their catch in the future

Bersemah

(done by Orang Laut (e.g. Kallang and southern islanders), unclear if Orang Seletar also practise this)

[Siti Omar 2020, p. 32]

• Another ritual known as bersemah is a ceremony that is intended to “cure” and protect the village through the pacification of the penunggu (guardian spirit). During this ceremony, my interviewees recalled how mantras were addressed to these invisible beings, food offerings were presented, and rice perceived as a bestowal from God for the welfare and survival of human beings was scattered around the village. Most importantly, my interviewees (and the villagers in general) were notified to remain indoors and abstain from removing anything from the environment (i.e. no fishing, plucking plants and digging the soil) to attain the desired balance with nature.

[Mariam Ali, 2002, p. 286]

• Orang Kallang, Orang Selat and Orang Johor: sémak kampung “curing of the village” ritual, in which the guardian spirit (penunggu) was propitiated. On this occasion, people were encouraged to stay indoors and to refrain from plucking anything from the immediate environment, so as to achieve the desired harmony with nature.

Giving birth

also see related content in Traditional Medicine

Jamilah (2014, p. 159)

• Traditional Seletar childbirth rituals: Eddy Salim: A Seletar husband has to watch and learn from the midwife at the birth of their first child and after that, all subsequent deliveries will be handled by the husband. The baby’s umbilical cord must be cut to the length of the baby’s knees and a bit of this blood must be wiped inside the mouth of the infant – this practice is believed to prevent oral disease. The cord, which has shrivelled and dropped, will be kept and fed to the child.
  • p. 157 Mai binti Zahir, born 1900. Her mother told her how her umbilical cord was softened in sea water before it was cut with a sharp bamboo object.
  • Juma’at (2017): When the wife thinks she is going to give birth, the husband will go find a midwife. He will also prepare the place of birth, boil hot water as the child needs to be bathed in warm water. The newborn will be swathed in batik or other clothes. He will also clean the moyan placenta (tembuni or uri). The umbilical cord is tied with a string and cut using a rattan blade or bamboo blade
• [Jamilah 2014] According to Eddy Salim, the mother’s expelled placenta will be carefully washed, wrapped and put into a woven basket and hung on a low forked branch of a tree at eye level. They believe that the baby will cry if the basket drops to the ground. After seven days, the father will check the contents of the basket and will not be surprised to see a yellow or white snake coiled inside. The midwives will be paid with salt, asam, a needle, a candlenut and a bit of money. The placenta hanging on a tree in the mangrove swamps in Bakar Batu was wrapped in linoleum; traditionally, pandan leaves were used.
  • [Juma’at, 2017] When placing the placenta, the person doing it MUST ensure that they do not look left or right, and their gaze has to be fixed on the spot they have chosen. They believed that or else, the child will become cross eyed

From Jamilah (2014). A wrapped placenta hanging on a mangrove tree.

[2024] I brought this book to the seletar villagers of Kampung Pasir Putih and when they saw this photo, they commented that the type of tree which the moyan was tied to in the picture was incorrect. The correct tree is the pokok nyirih. The tree in the photo is a pokok akit (=akit sulai? Ilex cymosa?). They also said that the position of the moyan in the tree was incorrect. One should place the moyan where the branch splits into two (like a Y shape). That position where the branch splits is called the cəngkel.

This was still practised 30 years ago, but now no longer.

Asiah and Suradi 1977, p. 28-29

• Among the Orang Seletar, child delivery is performed by the husbands. The husband sits in a kneeling position above the wife’s head. When the time arrives, he “pushes” his baby out using both his thumbs while a woman relative waits at the other end to receive the baby. When the baby is born, the umbilical cord is cut using a bamboo knife. The placenta is then taken to the nearest swampland where it is left on a mangrove tree. the baby will be given a name by either of his parents after the first tooth is seen. Names for babies are usually obtained from dreams.

Heading out to sea

Jamilah (2014, p. 183)

• Eddy Salim is Christian but asserts that he hasn’t discarded any of the old animistic customs. He declared that he knows a great deal about their traditional Seletar superstitions and myths, for example the traditional belief associated with going out to sea for fishing.
  • According to Eddy Salim, when the Orang Seletar decided to go out to sea, they believe that they must set out immediately and never turn back, even to retrieve forgotten items. They should return only after twilight, when they’re done fishing. As superstition dictates, if these rules are not followed, the spirits will be very angry with them and hence they will not get a good catch, instead, there is the high probability that they can get lost at sea or encounter a storm

Entering new territory

[Siti Omar 2020, p. 36]

• When people go out to sea or enter new or unknown territory, they must do the tabid datuk nenek (salutations to the ancestors) as a way of demonstrating respect to the penunggu (who were referred to as ancestors) in order to avoid misfortune

Note: like a prayer or mantra of sorts (see Incantations and Prayers)

Marriage (rituals)

• This section involves the actions performed for a couple to be considered married

[Thomson [1848]

• At marriage, a mouth full of tobacco and one chupah of rice handed to the mother, confirm the hymeneal tye (note: chupah = 1 imperial quarts, an british settlement unit of measurement)

[Asiah and Suradi 1977 p. 32]

• Marriage among the Orang Seletar is a simple affair. When a young man wants to marry the girl of his choice, he will inform his parents of it. His parents will then discuss this matter with the girl’s parents. If both parties agree then a marriage date is set.
• Formerly a person can get married by giving the bride’s family cigarettes or biscuits. Nowaways, however, the situation has changed. The groom has to pay a bride price of RM300-500 to the bride’s father. On the actual wedding date the groom’s family will go over to the bride’s home bringing along with them the bride price and some presents like cloths and cigarettes. The actual marriage is simple. The groom will hand over the bride price to his father-in-law. On accepting this, he will then ask his daughter to go over to the man’s side and they are married. Then the groom’s family will distribute whatever gifts they brought with them. After this they have a small feast among themselves and the whole thing is over.
• The groom will go over to stay with the bride’s family.

[Jamilah 2014]

• P. 176 Stories of Courtship and Marriage
  • Nek Kezing: 16 years old. Husband’s mother had come for her hand in  marriage, with five dollars in cash and a piece of cloth. On the wedding day, the prospective groom offered her parents an old knife. Nek Kezing explained that sometimes, even tobacco was good enough as dowry.
  • Nek Mai: marriage pact was made after a simple meeting of their parents on the both sides and in the presence of their chieftain. Consensus was reached by their village elders over coffee and biscuits. This was all that was needed to enable them to sleep together. Usually an old axe is given to the bride’s parents as a dowry. The bride’s family is not required to reciprocate, although sometimes they do exchange axes or give tobacco in return
  • Tacing: did not exchange axes, but Tacing gave her a gift of five dollars and a piece of cloth. His father’s words to him kalau aku datang, periuk nasi engkau jangan ditutup. Signifying that marriage is not just a pact between the married couple but extends to the parents as well.
    • It is alright not to have money and wealth, as long as there is friendship, warmth and rezeki (good fortune)
  • Yang a/p Tom: dowry of RM30 and a piece of cloth, followed by a feast of rice and boiled fish.
  • Leiti: gifts of food (mainly rice) and an axe was given to the groom as a dowry to the bride
• More modern
  • Eddy: clothes and fine textiles for the bride, more grand as the groom and bride both are children of batin
  • Ridzuan: son of batin of Bakar Batu dowry of RM3000 (very large by Seletar standards), many gifts of clothes. No axe.

[Samsur 2015] : The couples go to the headman to be married. These are the words spoken. The headman marries the couple.

Tok Batin: Mau nikah? Alah ko?

The groom: Alah la.

(Then the Tok Batin asks the bride the following)

Tok Batin: Alah ko nikah? Sak laki nyak?

Bride: Alah, die

(simultaneously points at the groom). (Then the Tok Batin says)

Tok Batin: Ika, jampak kon menyatu lagi. IK (nama mempelai lelaki) ka mau nikah dengen ka hah Jl (nama mempelai perempuan). Mak bapak nyak sukelah, lebih-lebih lagi due orang ka sok. Kite setuju je, ye. Kon mau nikah, ye kita kasi nikah. Ini dengen am ada barang-barang hantaran, biaselah kain batik. Lain-lain am tak tau, pandai-pandai lah nyak bagi nanti… Hah denger, ika IK ngan Jl ka jadilah laki bini. Ada mau bantah? Sape tau bini IK yang lain ke, laki Jl ke? Ade? Kalau tak der, Am sebagai Tok Batin katakan ni, keng IK alah nikah dengen Jl.

You want to get married? Are you sure?

Yes.



Are you sure to get married? Who is the man?

Yes, him





Here, the people are united again. IK (the name of the groom) here wants to marry with JL (name of the bride) here. Their parents are agreeable, most importantly the couple are happy. We agree to that, yes. The people want to marry, then we will let them marry. With me here are some dowry items, usually batik cloth. As for other things, I do not know, you can give them (to her) as you please later. Ah listen, here IK and KL are now husband and wife. Anyone wants to object? Anyone knows if IK has other wives, or JL other husbands? Are there? If not, I as headman say this, now IK can marry with JL.

[Jumaat 2017]

• The wedding process is not complex/ complicated. Because their lifestyle does not prize materialism. Also their socioeconomic status is quite low and most of them are poor
  • If the man wants to marry a girl, the man tells his parents about it so they can hint and woo the girl’s family. When the two families’ parents agree, the man will get a little money and gifts or clothes to his future father and mother inlaws. So does the girl’s side, but depends on each families’ abilities
• In older times, as a sign of engagement, the man will give to the girl a piece of batik, while the girl will give the man a piece of pelikat (a piece of cloth wrapped around the waist or hip), or anything they think suitable
• Also in the past, the man gives to the future father in law an old axe. The father will tell the man to take care of his child, let her eat and take care of her sickness “kau jaga anak aku, bagi dia makan, jaga sakit dan demem dia’
• If the man has not his own house, he brings his wife home with him to live with his family
  • This is normal for the Orang Seletar
• In the past, when they lived on boats, in order for the man to be considered marriageable, during his adolescence he has to own (and make) his own sampan, so that it can be his future family’s quarters
  • [Ariffin bin Nopiah, 1979, p. 33-34]: a young man could not get married until he obtained his own vessel.
  • In the past, when these people lived more or less exclusively on their houseboats, each nuclear family occupied its own boat
    • But this stipulation has been abandoned now that the people no longer depend entirely upon their boats for shelter
  • Because of the limited number of houses available, sometimes the young married couples and their offspring continue to live in the parental home. Whether the young family chooses to live in the husband’s parental household or the wife’s will depend upon convenience and personal preferences

Nowadays, after the couple is married, a feast is held (=wedding reception).

Marriage customs

{Thomson 1848}

• Their women intermarry with the Malays which appears to be not unfrequent, they also give their women to the Chinese, and an old woman told us of her having been united to individuals of both nations, in an early period of her life

[Asiah and Suradi, 1977, p. 32]

• Orang Seletar are monogamous. Only remarry when the spouse dies
• They can marry anybody which is not a member of their conjugal family unit including their grandparents. the average marriage age is around 18 to 21 year’s old for the man and for the woman around 15-18 years. The Orang Seletar have no restrictions regarding marriage outside their ethnic group

[Ariffin bin Nopiah, 1979, p. 34]

• monogamous
• If a man’s wife dies, he may remarry, but widow’s remarriage on the other hand is very rare indeed
• The Orang Seletar do not object to marriage outside the community, but they are unhappy if, in such an event, the Seletar partner (man or woman) moves out of the community to reside with his or her non-Seletar spouse
• kinship system is based on bilateral principle, with the people generally claiming no particular preference for their paternal kinsmen over their maternal ones, or vice versa
• on the other hand, patrilineal descent is important as we have already seen in determining succession to political office (see Pak Ketuak / Batin)
• But the distribution of property does not follow patrilineal principles. Parents may distribute what they own according to how they feel, but usually the property is divided equally among their offspring. And so far as the actual terminology of kinship is concerned, it is identical to that of their Malay neighbours (see Wordlists)
• (p. 39)Although rare, intermarriage between Orang Seletar and Malay does sometimes occur and when it does, invariably takes the form of a Malay man taking an Orang Seletar girl for his wife. The girl must convert to Islam and so it is usual for her to leave her own people and go to live with her husband’s community
• (p. 40) A number of Chinese men have taken Orang Seletar wives and in contrast to those Malays who have married Orang Seletar girls, these Chinese men generally settle with their wives’ people. (e.g. Temah’s husband Paul Teo in Archival Audio)

[Jamilah 2014, p. 173]

• Courtship prior to marriage was allowed, as long as it adheres to decent codes of conduct.
• Although marriage was usually arranged by the parents and sometimes forced on the young bride and groom whenever they seemed reluctant or remained stubborn to the persuasion of their elders, yet there remains an interesting tradition of “freedom of choice” that is permissible.
• Though elopement is strictly forbidden, Seletar elders would allow any young couple to marry on their own free will if they concur that the suitor is adamant, and truly in love with the girl of his choice. However, he must pursue her relentlessly for months. This could begin with him following her around, and chased her everywhere.
• P. 174 marriage amongst the Seletar is considered to be a serious lifelong commitment
• Wedding vow translated: If I lie to you, I will be gnawed by crocodiles at sea. If I am on land, I will be struck and eaten by tigers.
• Divorce requires public consent of the batin, after deliberation with village elders.

[Juma’at 2017]

• Monogamous. The man only remarries after separation or the wife has died
• But for the women if they split or the husband died, rarely do they get remarried. If split, the woman may go back to live with the parents or family
• There is no words for ‘reconciliation’ between exes. They are free to marry other people
• When they lived on boats, there wasn’t much marriage with outsiders, for the man or for the woman. Now it has changed, but the numbers are still small
• For the older generation, they do not oppose such intermarriages, although it is not encouraged
  • Kampung Kuala Masai, there are 3 men and 1 women who married Orang Jakun from Kampung Tanah Abang, Endau, Mersing
  • Telok Kabong, one of the sons of Batin Moen Terewang married a Jakun girl from Rompin, Pahang
  • Sungai Temon and Bakar Batu and others, some men and women married people from Sabah, Sarawak and Indonesia.
  • Simpang Arang, there are Orang Seletar who married Chinese and Malay people
• But traditionally, they are more comfortable with marrying people of the same ethnicity. Even people of the same tribe
  • The reason they give is that this prevents conflict within themselves. If there is a conflict between husband and wife in this context (same tribe), it is said the conflict wont last long
• The ‘feast’ with the relatives and neighbours during the wedding, consists of rice and fish
  • This is eaten by the women’s side of the family, not the man
  • There are no ceremonial words or speeches to tie the knot for the Orang Seletar
  • The agreement between the two families is enough to be the witness of the tie of becoming husband and wife
• Now, there are influences of Malay in the wedding culture
  • For those who are able, the “belanja tubuh” or “duit hangus” i.e. dowry can reach thousands of ringgit
  • This does not include other gifts
  • The cost is the responsibility of both families
  • Nowadays, many follow the Malay wedding styles, including the clothes of the bride and groom
  • The Orang Seletar invite their friends and family to attend the wedding
    • Although the distance between villages may be far, they make the effort to attend
  • The Orang Seletar like entertainment, even since times long gone
    • They like to dance, dance in large groups, and starts from morning
  • The women gets married from 15, then men 20
    • At this age, they don’t go to school anymore and the boy, starts to live on his own
  • Some after marriage, they still live with their families, on either side
    • The parents like the children living near to them after marriage so that they can maintain their familial ties and also they can help each other out in their daily work and/or difficulties
  • The influence of intermarriages with other races and also the invention of boundary-less communication is starting to change their society
• Although the wife helps out and has the same jobs as the husband (e.g. fishing, catching crabs etc.), the husband is till the head of the household and holds the main responsibilities